We tend to view our life here as temporary. The lifestyle I want to be living is not possible in this apartment, and so maybe it is a little too easy to submit to the temptation to drown out the remainder of our time here with internet or TV. To a certain extent, it's true that some things have to be put on hold. I can't have goats or chickens, or even a dog for that matter. Adam can't start playing hockey again until we have money to buy equipment.

                However, I think it's also true that this feeling of "someday" never changes. Wherever we end up for residency next year, we likely will still not be in an ideal location for my chickens or goats (though a dog will be inevitable--I've waited long enough). Money will still be tight, maybe even tighter, still keeping Adam from investing in hockey equipment. The reasons keeping us from accomplishing goals and dreams don't ever go away, they just vary slightly as we go through different life stages.

                Realizing all of this doesn't mean I'm going to charge ahead "pursuing dreams" at all costs. But maybe in the rush to get through this "waiting period," constantly putting ideas and inspiration off "for the future," we've ignored the small changes we could make. The feeling that any period in life is just a transition is false, each day is real life and we have the responsibility to live in it fully.

                Somehow I ended up on a minimalist lifestyle website, and although I don't feel the need to go as far as they do, I liked the overall less-is-more attitude. It helped me focus these recent feelings of unrest into some concrete ways I could change to start living today as the type of person I want to be in the future.

                I don't write these here as a way of saying, "These are the Right things to do, look how good I am being". I know for a fact Adam wouldn't make the same list as I have. But I think by stating these things publicly, I will have a bit more accountability to keep myself from falling back into old habits. In an attempt to live mindfully, to become more whole, healthy, and happy even in a somewhat soul-killing apartment in San Bernardino, these are the immediate interventions I felt would be helpful.

1. Quiet

                Limit TV use to sports and pre-determined shows. Cultivate silence, do not fill just for the sake of filling. Focus on the emptiness that remains, the emptiness that is a gift, and fill it mindfully. Focus on that emptiness as an answer to the common feeling of not having enough time.

2. Devotion, prayer, meditation

                I found a daily devotional from the School of Medicine that we got on the first day and I had promptly ignored. I've been reading that daily, and getting used to praying again. Focus on making deep breathing techniques more natural so as to build Strength. (This builds toward my ultimate daily goal of building Strength of character, spirit, mind, and body. Maybe a topic for a different post.)

3. Creating

                Practice creating. I read once all artists have to fight through the initial stages of their career where they hate what they create. If they get discouraged and quit they never realize that eventually this feeling ends, and they have Practiced enough to build skills that allow them to create things they love. I am not an "artist" by any definition, but anyone with any creative urges ought to encourage them, and for me that means more painting, drawing. Start writing again, possibly. Get a sewing machine. Learn how to make very simple clothing. Don't give up when I inevitably fail.

4. Health

                Continue Body for Life. Decrease sugar and processed foods. Increase fresh produce. Decrease reliance on EAS products, which are expensive!

5. Decrease material consumption

                By which I mean, buy high quality items infrequently. Avoid low-quality, very cheap clothing stores, which make it too easy to buy things not fully considered and not totally necessary (with the exception of thrift stores). Spend that saved money instead on buying items that will last for years, as they become necessary. Overall, purchase less. Fully use what's already here, and donate what's not necessary. (The minimalist blogger had an interesting point about this. By paring down his wardrobe to only his favorite necessities, he was able to wear his favorite clothes every day.)

6. Read everyday

                Everyday! Fiction. Those piles of books waiting to be read, along with the library list I've been building.  Read review books for medicine to keep fresh the knowledge I haven't used in awhile. Read psychiatry news and research to add to my knowledge base.

7. Decrease clutter. Increase clean, empty space.

                To this end, after finding the moldy coffee, I've gone through an exhaustive sweep of the apartment cabinets and closets, donating and throwing out bags and bags of Stuff. Don't keep things "just in case." If you truly end up needing it, it can always be replaced. Are you reading this, Stacy.

8. Emphasize relationships

                There was an immediate improvement in this area on making these changes. Working through these changes with Adam meant close conversations about goals and ideas and life philosophies without any distraction.

9. Emphasize nature

                So I can't have a house in the woods with chickens and goats and garden beds to spend weekends and evenings in. But I can make the best of it. Walks in local parks. Lunches outside. Hike when we can.

10. Emphasize new experiences

                For the sake of building Strength of Spirit, which for me means reframing new situations as opportunities. Having the spirit for, or being up to the challenge of, figuring out new experiences. Encouraging them as a way of growth. I anticipate a lot of opportunity for this in the upcoming interview season.

11. Focus on personal development

                Am I making progress in my daily goals of building strength? Spending time in service? Watching my pride? Being a blessing to others instead of a burden?

I am not good at doing any of the things I've listed above. But ultimately they are characteristics of the ideal life, and making small changes today means I am not waiting for external circumstances to allow me to pursue the life I want.

Fittingly, the cable and internet are out this morning as I write this. Apparently God approves of my plan as well.